Turn around!

I had one of those days yesterday….  I had concluded that ‘nothing was working’… and I was all alone in the universe….  I stood again in front of a wall! What would it take for me to move beyond it? Was this even true? All this creative energy was welling up inside of me like a huge tsunami, an explosion that wanted to make me scream!!!! (or roar!....)

What’s going on here? What is this wall?

Ok, I thought, meditate on this one. I hadn’t went into what I call ‘my inner circle’ for many years. In a way I had always considered it my ‘LaLaLand’ and not really taken it for ‘real’. (HmHm?)

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking now! Cute, yet not very bright. … Yes! Am I good at judging me for everything I be and do and like? Yeah. I’m not only good, I’m brilliant!  ….

Well, anyway, I chose to go into my ‘inner circle’. To my surprise, everybody was still there! The beings of light that I had not visited in many years still were there for me…. (Bewildered, I thought, so, what if this is not LaLaLand? Could this be real? And what if it’s real for me? And what if that’s ok? (more cuteness….)) Humbled by the awareness of what is true for me, I asked ‘What is this wall?’ And, again, I sensed it in front of me, high and made of steel and brick, solid and unwavering. My guides looked at me silently and a bit amused. “What’s so entertaining about me?”, I thought. And inside of me I heard a whisper. Kindly and slightly smiling, the voice said “Turn around!” I almost heard a giggle when I did turn around. What I saw took my breath for the fraction of a second… Wide open space, above the clouds, amazing colors, pink, blue, gold, purple, green and red, all colors of the rainbow! Everything was clear, fresh and open. Everything is possible here! There is an invitation here. It’s like “Come and play! What would you like to create? What if anything is possible now? What if the struggle is over and past?”

So, all this time I had stood there by the wall, desperately trying to move beyond while all possibilities were there already? I turned around briefly and saw that brick metal wall. It was further away now and didn’t look menacing any longer. I realized that it was actually the past! I had moved beyond it already and I had been standing by it, pinned to it on the other side. Had I been THAT used to that wall? Was it SO familiar to me that I stayed by it, thinking it was still there, not realizing that I could move on, freely???    Wow! I started laughing!

How many of you are still standing by the familiar grounds of your wall(s), thinking it’s still yours? What if you turned around?

How much are we used to our limitations and judgments? How often do we actually check on the past? Like “Wait a minute! Let me see how that was! That was so familiar! I can relate to it, as I had bought it as being me! Why don’t I stay there a little longer?” and then we forget that we can actually turn around and leave that illusionary ‘safe haven’ behind?

What if we don’t need to hold onto some kind of "safety net", the steel rod on the trapeze any longer, but open our wings and fly? Would an infinite being have to hold onto anything or anyone?

Would you be willing to turn around, please?