Gentle, big raindrops caressing the stone. A massage for my
being.
Body softening, expansion so easy.
I love using memories from when I
was living in Berlin and walking the streets on a rainy day, with my umbrella.
There is something about rain hitting the pavement, hitting the umbrella with
such kindness! I do use the kindness of rain so much in my being! When I cannot
sleep, I go back in time to those days or nights of walking Berlin's streets in
the rain with my umbrella. I slow down, smile and fall asleep!
During my years in the corporate
world, rain always came to solace and relax me. I remember Sunday’s with
thunderstorms. In some apartments that I lived in I had awnings over parts of
the decks. With the sound of the first thunder, all excited in total
anticipation, I would unfold the lawn chair underneath the awning, would make a
cup of tea, get blankets and pillows and snuggle up underneath my roof. At
times, I would fall asleep, mostly staying awake, though, ‘in the zone’. I
would expand out and be. No thoughts, no words, just the experience of
breathing body, the other worlds so much more palpable. I could just be and
breathe. I would be there forever, hours floating by, without moving. I had
goose bumps, and shivers of pleasure rolling across my skin. No need for food.
The rain and the thunder were my nourishment.
I go back in time to my
grandmother’s garden. My sister and I spent our days there with her while my
parents were working. What a blessing this was for me. In the midst of Berlin,
there was this oasis. She had a little cottage, we call it ‘Laube’ in German.
They can be as cute as it can be! My grandfather had built it at the end of World
war II, so they could find some peace during this crazy time and also grow some
fruit and vegetables there for my mother who was a little child then. The
cottage was simple and tiny, and it was my paradise. The toilet was a compost
toilet in a small separate room which had it’s own charm, smells, tools, and
sometimes thick big black spiders sitting on the walls luring for a fly. When it rained, my grandma, my aunt, my
sister and I would gather in the small dining/living room and just lie down on
the benches and pillows while the rain fell with big blobs onto the roof. Oh, I
loved it! It appeased my being. I
got even quieter than I already was. Could I just stay here, please?
Many years later, I was living in Luxembourg. I remember a Sunday, when it was gently
raining all day long. Gentle rain
fogs covered the fields next to my house. The sky was hanging low and my hair
would curl and frizzle while I sat on my deck, kept dry by an overhang. I had
one of my crystals in my hands, a beautiful elestial quartz, just the right
size for holding it and feeling it’s presence fill my body and being. So easy
to expand during the rain. I sat there for the longest time, stress and demands
from my challenging job forgotten, like a distant, abstract memory. I expanded
out so much that I didn’t sense the ‘edges’ of my body any more. I was space. I
was everything. No confinement, no separation. It changed me forever.
“Rain, gently falling, gently caressing my forehead, touching
strains of my hair, gliding them softly though transparent fingers the way only
the kindest, nurturing lover would. Hey rain, my lover! Would you like to dance
with me, hold me, swirl me? Delicious skin bare, threads wet, body smooth,
ivory warmness of a joyful smile.
Yes, he says!”
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