Would you be Willing to Step Beyond anyone else's Limitations?

 "Portal to the Temple of Light", by Bettina, 2003

Coming back from a trip to Costa Rica yesterday, I landed in Fort Lauderdale where I had to go through immigrations. I had 1 1/2 hours to catch my next flight. Cool!, I thought. Until I saw the line... Hmmm. After 1/2 hour of labyrinthal 'snaking' in the overcrowded small room, I got an awareness to speed up the process. Asking people for letting me go in front of them, I made my way to the front.... and saw that this just was the entrance to the main room, with many more labyrinthal pathways filled with way too many people to make this fast and ease. My request for an exceptional express procedure was gently denied by the employees. "You have to make your way on your own and ask people to let you go past them!"....

Oh-Oh! One long line after the next, I made it laterally through the room, skipping as I found somebody who allowed me to go in front of them. A gentleman from Germany told me to 'better hurry'! I kept going from face to face, culture to culture, language to language. Until 4 people said "No! We are on the same flight as you, and you just have to stand in line and wait it through as we do!" I sensed a strong line drawn in the sand. It said "Here is what is, and don't you dare asking for something different beyond that, beyond what we choose! We don't ask for more, so dare you asking for more!" The woman and the 2 men were very clear that that was a border not to be crossed. Their angry faces and their body language clearly sent the message of "Oh, pretty curly white face you, dare you!" "Really?", I thought! The energy was strong.

I remembered some things from an amazing Access® class I had just recently completed. One thing was "Is this really relevant?", and I thought "NO!". Another thing was "What if I was willing to be the brilliance of me and fly beyond any limitations that others see as real and true for them?" "Am I willing to pass everybody else, no matter what they will project at me?" And the answer was "Yes!"

I looked back at my new German friend, and all the other faces that were looking at me with curiosity as I stood in front of the wall. My German friend beamed at me and waved at me silently saying "Go! Go! Go!" I turned towards the people who held up the wall and went "OK! NO matter what!" and slipped underneath the zipper line separating me from them, slipped past them, sensing their desire to kill me and hold me back, past everybody else, to the front of the line! A stern gentleman looked at me, and I beamed my joy back at him! I said "Thank you! You are so kind!" and, with a faint smile that he must have held back for ages, he let me fly to the immigration officer!

Now, I still missed my flight. And, I got on the next flight right away which within 1/2 hour later was oversold. Had I waited, I might not even have made it back yesterday. I got a seat in first class and spread sparkles of joy and gratitude and magic everywhere around me. What was so interesting to witness energetically was the energy of "Do not go beyond the box! Go back and stay put! As we don't choose more, you better not choose more. This is what is!" That was a strong pull! And once I chose the energy of 'NO MATTER WHAT, I am choosing what I choose!" there was an energy that was so potent! It was an honoring of me and my choice. It was the willingness to choose what feels light to me! And there was and still is a great excitement about this! To go fly where everyone else says it's impossible. To follow that lightness and create new possibilities. And, if people would choose to not get angry, they could actually choose to have that too. Like "Wow! I'm going too!" That was a possibility that I showed them. If anyone gets angry and annoyed about my choice, it is just because they are not choosing it (yet), and they somewhere know they could make a different choice. Otherwise, they would just not be angry. It got me wondering later how often in my life I stayed put as I didn't want to make anybody 'feel bad'..... And, did this serve anybody?

It certainly didn't serve me. By choosing what works for me and following the energy of the moment, I literally am the invitation for everybody that says "Hey, you can have that too! You just choose it!"

I love the movie "Secretariat". It says there something like "If you don't run your race and give it the best you can and just go for it, you will never know what you can create!"

So, I choose to choose what is light to me! And for me, the moment is now! If I wait in line behind everybody else, waiting for them to choose before I can choose, that might never be! Or take a long time! I choose to not wait for anyone else any longer! I choose to choose NOW! It is time for my brilliance to be me! And I invite you all to choose that also, no matter what that is for you!

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More about Access Consciousness® at www.Accessconsciousness.com

Wonder of the Pink Poppy

"Wonder of the Pink Poppy", by Bettina, 2014

Here are 2 more paintings that I just finished. More of the 'Ruffled Princess"..... I had not painted a 'series' before... I wonder, what else is possible with the 'Ruffled Princess' that I couldn't imagine before?

"Ruffled Princess Tale", by Bettina, 2014

"Ruffled Princess At My Garden Gate", by Bettina, 2014

The first one was "Ruffled Princess at my Garden Gate". I'll post it here again, so the series is all together!

The 30-Day-Challenge is over, and my creation space is so wide open, so much more expanded! It's as if molecules are swirling into new possibilities that are not solid. What if this IS just the beginning of so much more? What if THIS IS the beginning of the future that is not yet? Where one feather touch leads to the next, to the next, to the next?

I wish to inspire the world to a new possibility, a possibility of communion and respect, vulnerability and allowance, choices that come from the 'kingdom of we ' that include everything, that come from question rather than answer, that invites possibilities we all couldn't imagine, a beautiful vision of a world of miracle and wonder, with the planet, a sustainable planet. Where we ask for each and every choice that we make what this choice will create, for our lives, for the generations to come, for the planet, for consciousness, for every single tiny particle of magnitude?

What would it take for us to be that? I wondered and stared a bit helplessly into the eyes of my new friend in her white, purple and blue dress. She beamed back at me, with a kindness and nonchalance that I don't quite remember having experienced before. This time, she didn't give me her hand, but she whistled a beautiful sound that made my heart leap. Within seconds, we were surrounded by butterflies! They swirled around us with gentleness and magical power. The world around me turned faster and faster, my vision expanded, and I could see everything at once, past, present, future, spherical vision and vision beyond vision. I thought I would faint, and a deep-indigo butterfly of the most precious spectrum of light and color particles landed on my heart and sat there for a second's eternity, and I started laughing and laughing. My world turned indigo, and I saw the universe, I saw galaxies, I saw stars and planets, and I saw .... light .... The Ruffled Princess and our butterfly escort had taken me into the center of our bubble, and we traveled at the speed of space. I was floating and experiencing, and breathing songs of light and color. Oh, such ease! Such joy! My body transformed and each particle rearranged into a different composition, and we approached the 'Butterfly Planet'. She was beautiful! She was floating space, dancing wings and shimmers composing a swirling symphony of wings and sound. She welcomed me with such kindness! A smile that I will never forget! I took it into my heart, a dance of beauty and power that expanded my awareness in continuity!

How much time I spent there, I don't remember. There was no 'time'. It just didn't exist in that space. Nothing was solid, everything was motion. And so was my body! "The knowledge you acquire here", she said, "will serve you well in many ways on Earth! It will facilitate your body in changing its molecular structure into, let's say, something that is less like a structure and more like a system with a platform. The platform itself is flexible also and will give your body a sense of possibility with being on the Earth in the current condition. The planet is changing, dynamically! It will be quite pleasant for you to have flexibility with your body. Capacities you once had and fairly remember will be reestablished and enhanced to even greater capacities and abilities, all of those you are creating also with your choices. Greater ease with change in the environment and space for living and thriving on Earth. Openings, creations, possibilities. They are yours. They have always been. We heard your call from eons ago. Share not the gift. Be it. We have always been with you. Now, you remember."

And the Butterfly Queen kissed me on my forehead with such tenderness and potent gifting, and I fell into a gentle sleep, drifting into the beauty of the space, with kindness and caring contribution .
I woke up out of my sweet and tender sleep, so refreshed, with new enthusiasm for life and all the unlimited possibilities that the Butterfly Queen revealed to my heart! Where do I start? What would it take to bring this vision of an energy and possibility to fruition, here? I was back in my garden. My body was gently resting on beautiful pillows made from a material that I had not seen before on the planet. Or, ..., did I? Still dreamingly, I gazed at it more closely... A gauze from ancient times, so ethereal and light, so space, .... this must have been a long time ago... Dazzled, I looked closer at the delicate designs with butterflies and stars and dancing molecules, golden threads. My heart expanded into that space. What if..... ?

What are the infinite possibilities for bringing that to fruition, that, that I know IS possible, that the Butterfly Queen has shown me in her indigo eyes, that my Ruffled Princess contributes to with each joyful flash of her eye lashes, when she giggles as she plays with the molecules and creates magnificent gifts for me of such beauty that only the earth mother and her creatures know possible.

I am so grateful for the Ruffled Princess! My friend! She is a beacon of light in my life, and she encourages me every day not to give up, and to keep asking questions, and to keep talking to the shooting stars and asking for their contributions of star dust and magic to our creations on Earth. The shift is here. The shift is YOU reading this. You ARE the Magic and the Miracle. I know you are out there, and you are questioning you and wondering about this world, and you are almost ready to give up. Don't! This is the invitation of the Butterfly Queen: Be YOU! Go for what you know is possible. YOU ARE NOT DREAMING IT! It is real! The JOY you know IS POSSIBLE! What are you waiting for? What you think is a dream IS a possibility of such power and potency! If you just knew what you CAN create! You are not little and insignificant! You are powerful, potent beings made of Light and Joy, Laughter and Magic! You are the Miracle you think is not possible! YOU ARE IT!

So, be it! Seek the inspiration! Create! Go out and look at the stars! Go there and fly! There is one of them that I know that is created by the Butterfly Queen! She welcomes those who ask. And her silk threads are one with the entire creation universe.

I know you CAN do it. You know it too! You just pretend not to know! Would you mind stopping pretending? It doesn't work any more. We saw you. And we know that You know. If you are here reading this, I tell YOU, YOU KNOW!

My friends, I greet you from Earth and from the Stars. I fly with you.

What would you like to create beyond now? What do YOU know is possible?

Day 28 – Remember The Days?

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Wow! I woke up very early this morning, after only very few hours of sleep!, my heart beating with excitement! “Hey body!”, I asked, “we could still sleep a little longer!” Body said “No! It’s time to get up!” I double-checked whether I was not still tired, and I wasn’t! I was WIDE awake!

Swirling energy in me, more than swirling, some letting go of the old, and new creative energy coming in! Totally amazing no-point-of-view-pure-FUN-energy! Where can I apply this generative creative energy today?

I was going to play and sing at my favorite coffee shop in small town Portage, and I was so excited! Some new cover songs ready to be performed with barely any preparation time at all, fingers quickly creating magic with the guitar, I wondered how I would burn a couple of my new “Gratitude Meditation” cd’s and create the cd cover, all within 30 minutes! I sat down at my mac and just wondered as to ‘What would it take to create that in 30 minutes?’, and also getting a print ready for shipping, in addition, of course, to getting me ready to show up!

At the speed of space, I did it! I created the new cd’s, with a new cover, and also burned a few of the other cd’s that I thought I had ran out of, magically slipped into an outfit that I threw together within 5 minutes, put on the fancy frickin’ awesome shoes that a friend had offered me (as of now they will be called my magical performance shoes), and I grabbed my guitar and my lap harp, and off we went to town!

Seriously, I didn’t have a clue of what I would be creating. I just knew I would be showing up…, and Yes, I did show up! Wow, was that fun! Totally imperfect, and totally GREAT! I spoke in all the languages that I know of, and some more, imitated accents and told stories, changed lyrics, let my voice ‘roll’ its own flow! We all were laughing, sad faces started smiling, we were giggling and being silly and carefree, across all ages! What if we didn’t buy into the sadness and depression? What other choice can we make? This little girl there just in front of me who’s parents had told me that she was so sad, looked at me with curiosity and her blue eyes started beaming joyfully! What if we chose happiness? Her mother was glued to my lips and took in each word! I could see how it computed in her being. Yes, we can make a different choice! What if it was that easy?

The magic we be is not the product of long studies! The stand-up comedian has it, is it! You can of course study anything, and you can study many years, yet the inspiration, the contagious spark comes from the one who stands up and shows up as who he be. You cannot prepare for being. You be it.

I can prepare a song. Singing the song is different. And it is different each time. The color is different, the flow is different, the hue changes with each cloud blown past by the wind. No note is ever the same. There is a deliciousness in that. You dance with it. Without the desire to catch it. It is wild and free and it invites you to dance with it. And you are free also. And in that freeness a new universe is created, stars are being born! It is the everlasting moment of the divine wildness. What else can we create from here?

Today, we made each other’s day. Every single one of us who showed up, for one reason or another, it doesn’t matter, found something more than what we expected that shifted our realities! Joy is possible. Happiness is possible. And it is as simple as choosing it!

In small-town Midwest, not in Paris, not in New York City, not in Tokio, we created a spark, an inspiration, that went into the earth and around it and beyond it. And it created something so different, something so beautiful!

I got a card from a friend from NYC today, and she wrote “Remember the days when you first moved in and found a lovely chair in Manhattan and had to cab it to Queens?” I do remember! And I remember how the cab driver wanted to kill me for that. I was determined to finagle this huge chair into the trunk of his car and take it with me to my new home in Forest Hills! It’s a little example of perceiving the miracle in the moment. Finding this chair in the street and ask “Wow, how do I get this big baby to Queens?” and seeing the possibility and not listening to this reality’s lies of impossibility. The driver said it wasn’t possible. And I knew we could do it! Against his bitching and complaining we managed to get the chair in, and I could take it to my new home!

I have many stories like that!

What do we choose each moment? Joy or sadness? Possibility or impossibility?

Something changed today, for all of us, for the earth, for the future! I'm receiving brilliant, exciting water-bubbling-energy-sparkles-of-oxygenated-infinitely-joy-enhanced-molecules-beyond-great- creation-phenomenal-possibilities! Thank you universe! I wonder what else is possible from here?

“The Large Blue Horses” (Die Grossen blauen Pferde) by Franz Marc

“The Large Blue Horses” (Die Grossen blauen Pferde) by Franz Marc

I walked into the Kandinski exhibit at the Milwaukee Art Museum the other day, in total anticipation and excitement about seeing the amazing works of one of my favorite painters! Little did I know what I really went there for.

Making a strolling turn into the second exhibit room, I stopped in my tracks, staring at this large painting of the blue horses! Magnetically drawn to it, I heard the words “There you are, my friends! It’s been a long time! So good to see you again!”, and I started crying with tears of what seemed to be so similar to recognition. What did I recognize? I wanted to touch it, to follow the lines with my hands, again. These amazing lines, so precise, so sure and confident, and so allowing and flexible! The deep blue, the bold deep blue! I looked around, and the security guy started to follow my every move. He must have picked up on my energy! My cell phone in my hand, I waited for a moment to take a picture, yet his suspicious eyes didn’t give me a second of a break…

“Oh! Never mind!”, I thought and took advantage of the remaining time I had with the horses, the colors and the energy of sunset anthems.

I got as close as I could under severe surveillance and looked closely at the reds, blues, yellows, and I thought “Next time, I would give it more detail.” Wow, who’s thought was that?

I remembered, in my teens I had a post card of one of Franz Marc’s blue horse paintings! I had it pinned on my wall in my room.  I loved it, and it gave me strength. The colors gave me joy, and the boldness of these beloved animals that meant so much to me seemed like the comfort of a good friend that was always present for me in moments of despair.

I had never seen any of these paintings in this lifetime in physical form.

They are somehow part of me, part of my being.

Could it be the space of creation where we have access to all creations that have ever been created? Access to each molecule that has ever been invited and received to dance the dance, to contribute to and play with each other and be the magic with the artist?

I am so grateful today for having experienced that grace, that wonder, that blueness that took shape on the canvas in these magnificent creatures.

My windows and doors opened, and they are gone. Open space instead. How many more magnificent beings, planets and universes will I create?

Thank you!

Ruffled Princess at My Garden Gate

"Ruffled Princess at My Garden Gate"

I so love flowers! They inspire me to be so much more than I have been willing to know that I can be! There is a delicacy about them, combined with great strength and a willingness to just be! 

I create them in a space of being. Seriously, from a mental point of view, a thought process, I don't have a clue how to paint it. To me, there is more of a sensation of them being there with me while I paint. The shapes, the movements, sometimes drastic moves and turns. The line really never IS straight. How to paint something so delicate? How to evoke it onto a canvas?

And the entire universe is there with me while I paint. We are moving together, every brush stroke being a question, a possibility. 

The beginning always feels 'raw'. It's like saddling a horse. You be with it while you brush it and clean the hooves, while feeding it an apple. Great anticipation of an amazing ride. You be with it, talking with it, sensing the horse’s breath, the muzzle when it searches for the apple in my pocket. While the painting patiently waits for this amazing moment when layers and layers of paint finally come together in a symphony, where the roughness of the first touches ceases passage to the alchemy of depth and blends and hues and shapes. Where before there were loose elements, there now is an orchestration that sings in beautiful harmonies. 

How did I do this? And, how can I create more of this, with total ease?

And we leave the stable on a sunny day, ready for the ride, in total joy and excitement of the magic that we are going to create in the world.

The "Ruffled Princess at My Garden Gate" smiled and waved her delicate head at me, and my heart jumped with laughter. "Come with me!", she said with a sparkle in her eyes. We didn't talk while she lead me onto a trail that I hadn't noticed before, right there behind the cedar tree. I had been by that tree so many times. We walked past it and it seemed as if we passed through a glowing gate, invisible to the eye yet very noticeable to my entire body and being.

I have goose bumps as I follow my princess who's hands are so small, yet radiate a strength that I can hardly describe. Her hands talk directly to each molecule of my body and being. Most welcoming, she guides me down the trail to a field of flowers. The glow is golden, and bees and dragonflies and other winged beings that I remember faintly in my universe dance around us. 

The trail ends at a bridge. Die Bruecke ist golden, feinstes Gusswerk von Meisterhand. Sie ist geschmueckt mit Blumen und Ornamenten laengst vergangener Zeiten. 'I love this bridge, and I know it!', I think to my surprise. My body also remembers, and my hand automatically touches the small golden pad at the right side of the bridge. It reads my fingerprint with magic and gives me passage by releasing a bell sound. I step onto the bridge with my princess following. The pond we cross is calm, and a gentle mist hovers over it, like sugar candy. No sound. Quiet. Welcome. 

Tiny lights emerge from the distance, coming closer and gathering on the other side of the bridge. I put my foot onto the ground, and the tiny lights gather around me. Touching me gently. Caressing my hair. Such a delight fills my entire body. Sparkles and giggles in me. My molecules are dancing in recognition! Gentle music within me and around me.

The path continues into a forest. Surrounded by the dancing lights and greeted by each tree I come to a place that shifts everything in me, brings everything back into its place, heals the wounds of the fights, mends that heart that never was broken, erases the memories and lifetimes into the now that is past, present and future simultaneously, with not judgment, just knowing, being, perceiving and receiving it all. It comes together. The trails that merge into space. The tree. I have seen it before. I have been there before. The space with the starry black sky, the light, the quiet sound, being. My lungs expand and I take the first real breath after trillions of years. I walk to the giant tree, tears of joy running down my face. "I missed you, my friend!" my words. "I know you too!" it's reply. We sit together for the longest time. Silent conversation. Clarity. Knowing. Being. I change. Forever. Nothing is going to be the same again. The very chemistry of my being and my body are transformed. I see. Vast space. The starry sky at first deep blue, then indigo, than space. Everything motion, creation, being. Questions from the silent space of knowing. 

What else is possible from here?

And the Ruffled Princess at my Garden Gate, with tears in her indigo eyes, smiles back at me, and I know that this is just the beginning of a phenomenal creation that I had thought was not possible, that I had thought I had lost, that I had almost given up on. Until today that the little princess showed me the way....

Journey of a Being

"Journey of a Being" by Bettina

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What do I know that I refuse to know? What do I perceive that I refuse to perceive? 

What do I be that I refuse to be? What do I receive that I refuse to receive?

And what energy, space and consciousness can I be that would allow me to perceive, know, be and receive everything that I refuse to perceive, know, be and receive?

I finished the painting. The deep space blues gave me so much space! Breath of color, veils of new creation, gently, softly weaving with fierce determination! Gazing into the depth of indigo and purple! Galaxies spinning and stars sending sparkles of possibilities. Being that space!

I demand of myself to be that. Move with the soreness, no matter what, be with it, be grateful for even that. Receiving from each and every molecule in the universe. Lower the barriers around the soreness, not protecting it, not protecting my vulnerability. Let more energy and contribution in. Allowing receiving of so much more.

How much have I been unwilling to let each molecule’s contribution in?

I demand it now. Walls and barriers down!!! Undefined possibility… and question…

I be space. I be… infinite…. I be quiet…. Space for next second’s choice….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qknUaQ1OY4 

The Beginning of a New Journey

As I sat with my intensity, not knowing where to go with that energy, as I sensed a crumbling of what I thought was me, a thunderstorm was building up.... Literally, not only in me but outside!

Distant thunder as I was digging in my garden, no gloves on! Pulling out grass that had happily stretched it's long roots into the garden beds!
No more of that!

Clearing out spaces around flowers and vegetables, in the gentle rain. Thunderstorm still building! Distant roaring.

It kept building, and I could only find mild relief in my own storm. Sweat running down my body, hands earthen, forget about my finger nails, I ran inside as the downpour came. Where do I go with all this energy?

Ah! I went into my studio, grabbed an easel and a canvas, got my oils, and in a wild motion poured out this painting. Fingers covered in oils on top of soils, I forgot everything around me. Thunder roaring and lightning flashing as I danced my dance of release.

Here it is. The beginning of a new journey on canvas. After two hours, I had the motion out! Let this be for a little, let it dry for a little! Give it space to breathe! It just came into the world.

I will dance with it some more.

In my nights so restless, in my days with tears of wonder, joy and release.

There is a reaching for something, a reaching for more! How to be that? Walls crumbling, what I thought was me, crumbling, crust open, insides out, outsides in, upsides down, wild, unleashed, sore space…. Of being…. Did I really come for that? Did I choose to be here for this? Yes, I did! How safe felt my chains, my walls and my pretenses? And, was it safe? Was it true? The illusion of safety…. The fairy tale story of the witch and the maiden, the good and the bad, the black and the white. What if this all isn’t true?

The space of being? …. So uncomfortable? …. So nothing I expected it to be?.... So wildly-open-unfathomable-no-reference-to-hold-on- all-including-not-defining-no-mind-full-ness-open-space? What do I create from this space? What do I choose now?

Looking back from the future where the storm of the new has calmed into dancing with ease with the molecules I can see the choice I made in the now. And it was beautiful. I can see it from the future. It was required as radical, bold, courageous and brilliant as it was. Not comfortable, yet when and where did I buy the lie of comfort as valuable when it would kill this beautiful planet Earth? Ha! What a concept! I smile as I look back. Earth is beautiful and alive! And we thrive with it!

Where do we go from here?

Highs .... and Lows

Yes, Highs…. And Lows….
More lows for me…. Yesterday…

This feels pretty much like ‘pants down’, and I am willing to be that energy and to speak out what I so resist to speak out!

HOW MUCH AM I JUDGING MYSELF CONSTANTLY??? How much am I mimicking everybody else’s reality with money and art? And how much do I use this to abuse me? Aaaahhh, this hurts!
What would it take for me to change this?

I also realize that I would like to generate and create much more money with my paintings!
I totally have decided that it is impossible for me to actualize 5K within 2 weeks, and that it is impossible with my art! And only with my classes…. And maybe not even with my classes! What? Hmmmm! I change this now!!!

What are the infinite possibilities for me to generate, create and actualize massive amounts of money within 2 weeks with everything I be and do?
I BE POWER
I BE CREATION
I BE CONTROL
I BE AWARENESS
I BE MONEY
(This is derived from the ""How to Become Money" workbook by Gary Douglas, which I am reading currently)

I choose this! I be this! What else can I be that I have never been before? What else can I choose that I have never chosen before?
What have I decided is impossible with business, my money, my reality, my finances, my currency, my cash flows and my paintings? What if that wasn't true?

I demand of myself to be the brilliance of me! All the time! And to go beyond whatever I thought was possible!